KidSarah might be a little disappointed if she could see me now. I don't perform anymore; instead I spend my hours teaching others. I'm not living in New York, but instead in a city where NorthFace is considered the height of fashion and flip flops are appropriate attire for every occasion. I haven't made up for my awkward childhood by making millions of friends. I am married.
But, KidSarah was stupid.
The truth is that I love performing, but so often when dancing my mind is consumed with how to transmit the information to others. I wonder how I can use new concepts in my own choreography and I try to figure out whether technical corrections would apply to my own students. I'm in my eighth year of teaching at the same studio and I've seen a lot of great dancers come and go. Some have gone on towards professional careers and others haven't. This year my first little class of jazz dancers is graduating and I'm insanely proud of what they have accomplished. Not only in their technique, but in the way that they have grown into confident artists and generous people. Getting to be a part of that development has been more meaningful than I ever could have imagined.
Maybe I don't have a million friends and I suck at networking and connecting with people. I'm working on it. The friends I do have are so special to me. This was reinforced at my wedding this summer when I was fortunate to have seven beautiful ladies standing next to me. Some new friends and some old, but all vividly interesting and kind in spirit.
There have also been so many conversations on life and dance that go late into the night... yes I've been blessed by the people who have wandered into my life.
And marriage? I'm still not sure how that happened. This might sound corny... okay it will definitely sound corny, but having found the only man in the world I could have even imagined getting married to gives me hope for everything else.
There are still things I want to accomplish with my life... but, even if I don't, being where I am right now is most excellent.
I guess I woke up feeling cheesy today.
Valkyrie in the Roller Disco - The New Pornographers