I've been wearing man shoes and I have some thoughts.

A bit of a tomboy, I'm no stranger to shopping in the men's department.

But shoes? I've never considered men's shoes because it just seemed a little… wacky. Like crossing an invisible line.

But I was helping my husband pick out a new pair of work shoes and I realized that some of these dude shoes were actually really cute. So, I went down about 1.5 from my lady size and started browsing through the men's selection. It didn't take me long to find two different pairs of boots that were super cute. I slipped them onto my feet and was stunned. They were comfortable. Very comfortable. There wasn't some mysterious "lady" difference in my feet that kept the shoes from fitting properly. Instead, the boots felt like they'd already been broken in.

Some backstory that you're welcome to skip: I'm a dancer with extremely sensitive feet. My toes, heels and arches blister up at the drop of a coin, I've got high arches and short achilles tendons and I've suffered through issues with my tendons and plantar fasciitis. If I'm standing or walking around, my feet are probably hurting. My younger sister has inherited hundreds of shoes from me because they ended up being so uncomfortable that I couldn't stand to wear them.

This all brings us to today. I've been wearing these boots for a few days. And ladies? I have some things to report.

1. Men's shoes have thicker soles.

It's true. I'm not sure why men get thicker soles on their shoes, but there it is. Lady boots at an equivalent price would have a thin, synthetic sole with very little traction on the bottom. If I planned to wear said lady boots for any period of time, I'd have to get an insole thicker than a classic novel to make them bearable. But not men's shoes. They've got these big, thick rubbery soles that hug the pavement and are never, ever slippery. I feel like I could run in them without falling and hitting my face on the ground.

2. Men's shoes have better quality fabric.

I've bought a lot of shoes and I'm pretty aware of value. To get a women's boot with thick leather or suede, you have to be ready to shell out some major bucks. But men's boots? Quality fabrics are almost a given. Both my men's boots were under a hundred dollars and both have fairly high quality leather that is warm and doesn't soak through to my socks when it rains. They're also soft enough that they doesn't rub my feet and cause blisters. Speaking of which:

3. Men's shoes don't have to be broken in.

What? Maybe I was just extremely lucky in the only two pairs of men's boots I've ever bought. But there has been absolutely no break in process. No carefully selected outings where I know I won't have to walk too much so I don't end up getting stuck somewhere with aching feet. No limping at the end of the day. No whispering to myself that if I can just keep at it, one day they'll be slightly less uncomfortable. Instead, I put the shoes on my feet and walk outside. For reals.

4. Men's shoes are foot-shaped.

Dudes, you might be laughing at me right now. "Of course they're foot-shaped," you say. "What else would shoes be shaped like?" But women know what I'm talking about. You know how it feels to resent your pinky toe. To frown at your heels. To wish your arches weren't quite so high, your calves so big, or the front of your foot so wide. You've spent a lot of your life wondering why you had to get stuck with such difficult feet.

But it isn't your feet at all. It's the fantasy of what a woman's foot is supposed to look like. Thin, delicate and small (and pointy at the front? what's with that?). Heaven forbid any of us have a normal foot. No, we have to squeeze them into the most desirable shape, just like we're supposed to squeeze everything else into the most desirable shape. Forget walking comfortably and existing like a normal human being. Not a priority.

(Just a note: I'm not talking about the occasional pair of impractical, sky-high heels. Those can be fun are supposed to be uncomfortable. I'm talking about the everyday shoes we use to get to work, run errands and walk around downtown.)

5. Men's shoes are durable.

Okay, so I've only had these for a week and I'll have to get back at you with my long-term observations, but these cookies sure seem more durable than the average lady shoe.

My man shoes

It's been a bit of a mind-bender. You don't always know what you're putting up with until you get to step away from it and see how the other side lives. And you can't always step away when your feet are hurting. Why are men's shoes so superior? Why are they more comfortable? And why are they cheaper?

I worked in retail for a while and I observed that men tend to shop differently than women. Your typical man (thought there are lots of exceptions!) will walk into a store and buy what he needs. He doesn't spend long there. Bonus points if he doesn't have to try anything on. Don't expect to see him again until whatever he bought falls apart or starts to smell. Maybe not even then.

Are women vulnerable because we buy more into the fantasy, the experience of shopping? Are we vulnerable because we truly believe that the right accessory will make us better people? The right shoe will change our lives? Is it blinding us to what's actually being provided? Keeping us from realizing the lengths retailers are going to keep us on the treadmill of fashion? Are we really such impractical creatures? And, if so, is it because we were born that way, or because it is what's wanted of us?

There are so many issues at play when you talk about women's clothing. So many historical references you can make which have led us to where we are, from corsets and bustles to bloomers and pants. An obvious line can be drawn from foot binding and heels if you choose. It's never simple with us. It's never straightforward. There's always a world of sexual politics behind every brooch and bouffant, whether we want it there or not. Maybe that will change one day.

In the meantime, I'll be over here with my man shoes.

You can't have it all… but maybe you can have more than you think

Shame is such a persistent element of this modern life. Perhaps it is because we have so much constant input coming in from every angle, a million how-to books, a million blog articles offering advice, with think pieces on productivity, maturity, parenting, spirituality, career choices, nutrition, social justice, politics, and more.

They may be well-intentioned, but it can create a lingering suspicion that we're always doing it wrong. Even if we correct our behavior or opinions in response to a convincing argument, there's an opposing viewpoint one week later. It's good that we're listening, it's good that we're evaluating and challenging our own beliefs, I think it's a sign of positive change, but it's also an awful lot of noise. With time, it can become an awful lot of weight.

Or, maybe that's just me. Perhaps I'm uniquely influenced by guilt. I kept taking piano lessons for years because I thought not playing piano would make me a bad person. I feared I'd end up regretting my choices.

Many times I don't even realize guilt is influencing my behavior.

All of this leads into a book review…

I recently read "The Renaissance Soul: Life Design for People with Too Many Passions to Pick Just One". The title says it all. This is a book for people who are always finding themselves pulled in a million different directions, by a million different interests.

Our culture preaches the importance of choosing. This is especially pervasive in the dance industry. How often have dancers heard variations of the idea, "Dance requires everything"? There's a lot of talk of sacrifice and focus. Dedicating yourself completely. Not doing so makes you less of a dancer. It means you don't love it as much as the next guy.

It isn't only true for dancers. The further you get in any career or field of study, the more focused you're expected to get. I believe it discourages a lot of people. It's easy to get depressed looking at a future of doing one thing forever if that isn't ingrained into your personality.

I've learned that love doesn't always requires exclusivity. Each time I crack open a history book, sit down at the piano (yes, I eventually went back to piano), create a unique design element, or take time out to work on my novel, it isn't making me less of a dancer.

Maybe that sounds obvious and silly to you, but it was a major illumination for me. I needed permission to love a lot of things, even if permission only came from a book. I needed someone to tell me that my art wouldn't suffer if I widened my scope a little. I wanted to be set free of the guilt I didn't even know I was bearing.

The author, Lobenstine, uses the example of Leonardo da Vinci, who followed his curiosity down many different paths. The guy is credited as a painter, sculptor, architect, musician, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, cartographer, botanist, and writer. Would anyone dare to criticize him, telling him to focus his interests and dedicate himself to one field? No, because he's frickin' Leonardo da Vinci. For all the paths he took, his Mona Lisa is still one of the most celebrated paintings of all time. I'd argue his diverse interests made him a better artist than he would have been if he limited himself to one field.

That isn't to say I'm anywhere near the level of Leonardo da Vinci, but I do think I have some similar wiring in the way that I approach art. Lobenstine does a great job outlining practical strategies and plans for those with a Renaissance Soul personality type. Though I didn't fill out all the worksheets, they got me thinking in a more productive way and enabled me to create a few of my own plans.

If you think you might be a Renaissance Soul, I can't recommend this book enough. The career plans are great, but the best part is finding permission to embrace your own curiosity.

One Second a Day (sort of)

I have a complicated relationship with the one second a day app. You've probably heard about it by now, but, in case you haven't, I'll outline the basic premise for you.

1.) Download app
2.) Take a video every single day
3.) Edit that video down to one second with the app
4.) Compile into longer videos that encompass a month/year/more

The idea is that by filming one second of footage every day you can create a comprehensive memory of your whole entire life.

Last year, about a year ago, I gave this a whirl. However, there's something about this little project that makes it different from the other photo/video apps out there. When you're posting stuff on instagram, it's easy to come and go, uploading only the images that represent the ideal life that you want everyone to see. It's a lot easier to pretend that you're perfect and amazing when you only post once a week. Or once a month. When you have to contribute one second of video every single day it can get a little.... mundane? Yes. Mundane. Because too many of my days look like this:

1.) Wake up and check out massive bed-head
2.) Stumble through morning routine in a half-awake daze
3.) Go to work
4.) Work
5.) Do laundry
6.) Make dinner
7.) Play Mario Kart
8.) Feel bad for not writing or dancing
9.) Sleep

Repeat.

This does not make for enthralling video. Even when I only need one second. And, though it's normal not to have firecrackers and cake every single day, when you're faced with finding something interesting.... it can get challenging. I can get a bit down.

But it isn't bad that every single day isn't amazing. As an introvert, I don't think I could handle it. Portions of those days are amazing, but it's all stuff inside my head, which doesn't translate well into video. Sometimes I need to be boring so there's room for the ideas to sprout.

Last time I just quietly stopped using the app. Because maybe it isn't for me.

But, now I'm doing it again. Because maybe I don't need this to be the instagram version of my life. Maybe this can be the actual version of my life. Warts and all. Laundry and all. I have enough idealized, glossy images that show me being amazing. I have the things that I create, which are filled with color and excitement. This time I can loosen up a bit. Show the truth. My experience. It isn't always exciting. And that's okay.

What is it about that song?

Being that I work with children and with people who work with children, I hear this question a lot. Sometimes it's whispered in confusion. Sometimes it bursts out like a shotgun. Either way, a lot of adults are wondering the same thing.

Because we've all noticed it. Frozen has taken over the minds of our girls. Specifically, the song "Let it Go".

If you've been hibernating the last few months you might have missed the way this song has swept the nation. You haven't noticed the covers performed by everyone imaginable, the views on the YouTube video crawling up and up, the karaoke cred, the tumblr memes, or the way preteens get glassy eyed and passionate whenever the opening chords begin. If you've been hibernating the last few months, you're probably also very hungry and very annoyed that it's still rainy and cold here in Seattle.

Back on topic.

What is it about that song?

"Let it Go" occurs at a key point in the film, the point at which Elsa has fled her home after losing control of her special ice powers. She's spent most of her life trapped indoors, trying to live up to expectations and keeping a tight lid on her unique quirk. She believes that the way she was born is too large, too powerful, too unpredictable, and too dangerous to be anything except suppressed.

"Let it Go" is when she gives up on that. She realizes that she can't try for normalcy anymore. It isn't going to happen. Instead, in order to be fully herself, she has to live alone.

The reason so many girls have embraced this song is because they identify with it.

They know what it is like to have energy and ambition, emotions like thunderbolts, and strength that they aren't allowed to use.

They know what it is like to suppress all of that in the interest of being a "good girl". They know how to keep quiet, because they've been praised so many times for their silence. They understand artifice, because isn't social success built upon creating an acceptable persona? They fear that if anyone truly sees them for who they are, they'll be rejected. They might even hurt the people they care about.

"Let it Go" offers a dream of defiance. It offers hope, because it tells us that maybe that hateful secret we've been hiding can be beautiful. It suggests that maybe the worlds inside us are worth the cost.

Is it all that surprising that so many kids have gone bonkers for it?

So what do we do with this?

I'm not a parent, so I can't speak as a parent. I can only speak as a teacher and the lesson I'm taking is to leave room for exploration. To not sacrifice creativity for discipline. There's room for both. When done right, dance can provide a safe place for kiddos to get all that energy out and to be bigger than themselves. A place where their quirks can be an asset.

What about you? Does "Let it Go" make your pulse race? Were there any Disney songs from your childhood that had a similar effect on you?

Credit: http://royal-tarts.deviantart.com

While we're on the topic - This news story is absolutely adorable. Cheers to these courageous men who helped a little girl find her own courage. Massachusetts firefighters sing 'Frozen' song to keep little girl calm. 

The Lofgies - 2013 Edition

It's that time of the year again! Presented here, in alphabetical (not preferential) order are my top ten films of the year. Choosing ten favorites was surprisingly difficult, which testifies to how great a year this was. A lot of strong films didn't make the list.

So, with no further ado….

Here they are!

12 Years a Slave

I didn't expect to like 12 Years a Slave. It's a topic that can go bad so easily. In the wrong hands this film could have been preachy, melodramatic, patronizing, or just a miserable slog. Instead, there's a natural and genuine nature to the horrors that unfold. The observational quality of the cinematography means that the film doesn't make any judgements, it merely reveals events as they occur. The slave owners aren't one-dimensional monsters. The slaves walk a fine line between retaining their humanity and ensuring their survival. There's a lot to take away from this film. What did I take away? Perhaps an abhorrence for the all-too-common attitude of entitlement that accompanies commerce. Too often we believe that we are owed the freedom of others. Yeah, it's a historical film, but the messages are still tragically prevalent in this modern age.

Before Midnight

A small percentage of the population has followed the adventures of Jesse and Celine for almost two decades now. Each installment in this series has come to embody a certain stage of life, portraying the way we slowly crystalize into the people we're meant to be as our hopes evolve. What a pleasure it is to get to know these mature, complex and interesting people! What a joy to watch a serious relationship onscreen! Too often we're presented with only the first chapter in the story, the "meet cute" on the train for Vienna. Not this time. This time romance is a luxury buried behind all the irritations, reoccurring conflicts and slights (both real and imagined). Growing up is a painful business, but one with moments of intimacy and beauty that can make it worthwhile. I'd venture to say that not only is this a beautiful and challenging film, but it's also a very important film. I'll be there in nine years for the next one.

Blue is the Warmest Color (La Vie d'Adele)

Most of the press on this film has centered around the lesbian sexy times in it. Yes, there are lesbian sexy times. If you aren't into that sort of thing, this probably isn't the film for you. And, as a few reviewers have mentioned, the sex scenes have a whiff of the straight man's fantasy about them which makes them seem a little… false? But, don't let yourself get caught up in that. There's so many other things to love in this movie. The two lead performances are so genuine that I can't imagine the same film with any other actresses. They so perfectly embodied these two girls. The film is filled with carefully sketched details and small truths that lend it a unique texture. Blue is the Warmest Color tells a simple story of love found and lost, one that we've seen a million times before. But, somehow the experience of watching this movie is like feeling it all for the first time.

Frances Ha

I love Frances! She has such a joyful spirit and sense of reoccurring wonder. Sure, she's not the world's most practical girl, but her resilience helps her face the litany of hard knocks that occur throughout this film. Frances defines herself as a dancer, but she isn't cutting it in the highly-competitive dance industry. The most important relationship in her life is with her best friend Sophie, but Sophie is gradually leaving Frances behind. Her boyfriend? Not really a boyfriend. Her apartment? Well, that's in flux. The best section of this film is the hysterical/tragic Paris vacation. I related so strongly to Frances's mental state in those moments, when she tries desperately to keep clinging to an acceptable narrative for her life. How do you define yourself when everything you want to be is drifting away?

The Great Beauty (La Grande Bellezza)

The scope of this film is massive, dazzling and ambitious. Years ago lead character Jep wrote a highly regarded novel, but since then he's embraced his life as the heart of Rome's social world. Jep is at every party, watching every absurd performance and wandering through the halls of each museum. He's hungry for conversation, for connections and new experiences. He wants to feel everything and nothing all at once. In one scene, Jep explains to a friend the appropriate behavior for attending a funeral. He demonstrates the proper way to comfort the bereaved, the proper clothes to wear, the proper place in which to sit. In his wisdom, he's figured everything out. But, despite this, life and death still touch him. In the instances that they do, the film becomes a masterpiece.

Gravity

People are going to be talking about Gravity for a very long time. The technical achievements are so great that they achieve a new kind of artistry, proving that CGI can be used in a way that is deeply meaningful. The story at the core of Gravity is simple, fight-to-survive stuff. But, through the unique vision of the filmmaking, that kernel of a story flings us out into distances further than we can imagine, challenging us with starkness, majesty and impossible odds. This is a movie that is both gorgeous and terrifying. It's the kind of achievement that pushes the entire film industry forward, giving us a glimpse into the future of cinema.

Her

Her offers another peek into the future. Its universe is slightly more grounded than that of Gravity, revealing moments and ideas that seem both familiar and strange. It's that line between the familiar and strange that defines so much of this film. It brings us into the most foreign situations, and yet we still relate with the experiences of lead character Theodore. "Her" is about love, but it isn't about the kind of love that is only easy and romantic. Instead, the movie reveals the ways love shapes us, for better and for worse, and how the act of loving another human (or computer) is one of the most dangerous and important things we can do.

Inside Lewyn Davis

This film sits very close to the center of my heart. Lewyn is a tragic character with a deeply wounded soul caught in a cycle where poetry is continuously followed by self-sabotage. A talented artist, he's so removed from practicality or conventionality that the recognition and success he wants is forever out of reach. In the same way, this film denies the viewer any sense of catharsis, creating a story that is both painful and astounding. The music makes it great. The songs form a kind of greek chorus, if greek choruses carried guitars and had the power to whisper the souls of their leads. As this movie shows, sometimes the only place meaning exists is in the chords of a song.

Nebraska

Meanwhile, in Nebraska, David tries to keep everything under control as his father, Woody, grows increasingly difficult to control or predict. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Woody believes he has a winning sweepstakes ticket and he's determined to collect at all costs. Nebraska takes a hard look at the way we are shaped by our families and environments, the things we let float by and the moments we put our feet down. It's quietly funny in odd ways and, to anyone who grew up with a bevy of strange relatives, it will feel uncomfortably familiar. This isn't a pretty film. It takes a dingy and unromantic look at life, but one that still allows moments of significance and levity to shine.

The Wolf of Wall Street

If I had to sum up The Wolf of Wall Street in one word, that word would be "audacious". This isn't a movie content with small victories or quiet moments. Instead, it throws every trick at the screen, talking a million miles a minute and showing you everything you could ever want to see. It's the ultimate personification of its hero, Jordan Belfort, matching him step for step and smarm for smarm. Excess looks simultaneously like the best and worst days of your life. The Wolf of Wall Street, through its very determination not to ask questions, has forced a lot of viewers to ask some important questions about prevailing attitudes of entitlement and the problem of wealth addiction.

Honorable Mentions:

Drinking Buddies

Thought its tone is casual and conversational, Drinking Buddies gets to the core of some painful truths. The movie  refuses to give the viewer an easy way out as it explores the murky area where attraction and friendship intersect.

The Hunt (Jagten)

Mads Mikkelsen brings an ample dose of humanity to a challenging role. The Hunt portrays a man at the center of a witch-hunt, trying to dig his way out from the suspicions and hatred of a community that once embraced him.

In A World…

In a World… introduces us to the seedy underbelly of the voice-over industry. Okay, so the underbelly isn't that seedy, but it is funny, charming and fresh.

Prince Avalanche

Deceptively simplistic, this movie hinges on the performances of its charismatic leads. They're both stuck in the middle of nowhere, but for completely different reasons. Growing up with them is a pleasure that is painful, funny and profound.

Mud

Both an adventure film and a coming-of-age story, Mud surpasses both genres. Two boys come into contact with a mysterious stranger who needs their help. Is he a folk hero or something much more dangerous?

Don Jon

Don Jon explores addiction in ways that are both unique and interesting. It has a great rhythm and sense of its own identity, sending its characters stumbling through a series of events where fantasy never quite lives up to reality.


So, there you go! Thank you for sticking around through all of that. What are your opinions on these films? Which do you think is the best? Do you have a different favorite movie for 2013? Let me know!

The Shape of Me

When did it start? I'm not really sure.

Maybe it started when I looked into the studio mirror and realized that my legs no longer went straight down, but pushed out a bit at the sides.

Maybe it started when I sat down in a pair of shorts and noticed that my skin dimpled where it met the chair.

Maybe it started when I learned, through watching and listening, that the greatest sin I could commit as a teenage girl was to be overweight.

When my body became communal property, something for men to size up, for women to comment on and the clearest factor indicating my worth.

Maybe it started earlier.

Whatever the origin, fear took root. The word "fat" hovered just out of sight, a three-letter threat that always waited for me.

The need for praise took root as well. I learned I could get as much praise for choreographing a dance as for losing ten pounds. Twenty pounds? There's no equivalent for that.

The funny, horrible part is that praise only serves to accentuate fear. Beneath the words I can hear, "Good work, you! You've gotten temporarily further from the scary thing!"

.

Look at any group of women. The skinniest is the one who has "won", right? I'm not the only one who has had these thoughts. As if the word "skinny" is some badge of honor we can wear to show that we are easily moved and will not take up more room in this world than we deserve.

Sometimes it feels like we're all in a race to disappear.

.

I ate nothing but celery, soup and water.

I stuffed my face.

I worked out every night.

I did nothing but watch cartoons and lick crumbs off my own tee shirt.

I kept my eyes glued to the mirror watching, not for technique, but for love handles.

I refused to look in the mirror.

I cried in secret. A lot.

I wore the same pair of pants over and over again, because they made me look microscopically less heavy than my other pants.

I lied in my food journal.

I hated every skinny person I met.

I hated every costume I had to wear, because they weren't carefully constructed to conceal all of my misshapen body parts.

.

I have so much regret. For five years of my life, 80% of the thoughts that went through my head were a version of food-related self-loathing. Those were years that were vital to my development, years when I could have been growing, maybe even having an impact. I'm an intelligent person with a hungry mind, a creative soul and a drive to succeed. There's a lot I could have done with that time. Instead, I waged a war against myself, allowing my heart to grow smaller and smaller. That's what I regret. Losing those years.

Letting myself believe that I am only a body.

.

What changed?

I got tired. Hating yourself is exhausting and I decided to stop. It really is that simple.

.

Except it isn't always that simple. I still check myself out every day, hoping I measure up. I still fight to keep the voices away. In moments of weakness, I can still hear them. "You're so ugly. Everyone thinks you're ugly. Everyone sees the cellulite."

I'm not the only one. I'm not the only woman who feels like she's eternally on an auctioning block with her value fluctuating based on the way her jeans fit. The size of her bra.

I'm not the only one who hates looking at herself in photographs, because maybe her smile won't overshadow the fat on her arms.

We can't live up to it. We'll never live up to it. And it pisses me off.

This has us in bondage. Women in this country are literally in bondage, because so many of us believe that the most valuable gift we can give the world is our youth and our beauty. Not what we say. Not what we do. Not how we treat others, how we fill movement with purpose, the stories we tell, the things we feel, the sacrifices we make, the art we contribute, the experiences we share, the ideas we generate, the people we love, the places we visit, the lessons we teach, the mistakes we make, the companies we build, the children we encourage, the jokes we make, the gifts we give, or the blog entries we post.

Just physical beauty - a constantly changing series of parameters defined by others, enforced by others and for the profit of others.

It's a lie.

We are so much better than beautiful.

The Lofgies: If I Owned the Oscars

This was going to be a massive entry with nominations for all categories, but it turns out I just don't have the time for that. So, instead, feast your eyes on my top ten films of 2012. If I owned the Oscars, and the entire Academy consisted of me, these would be the ten films nominated for Best Picture. So, in alphabetical order, I present the Lofgy nominees!

Argo

I have to admit - was surprised when this one took the Golden Globe. And now it's a likely Oscar Best Picture winner? I thought it was pretty good, but best picture good? Eh. Admittedly, I did love the opening scene. It did a great job of sucking me immediately into the story, creating excellent tension and a feeling of authenticity. Unfortunately, the writing wasn't always able to sustain those qualities, inserting cheap Hollywood ploys instead of trusting the fascinating true details of the story. Characters weren't developed much, but the directing was capable and the story absorbing.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

It helps if you approach this not as a movie, but as a visual form of poetry, an emotional character study that builds its own world in the territory of magical realism. To fully appreciate Beasts of the Southern Wild, you have to set aside your adult eyes and let the movie bring you into a child's mind. Everyone will get something different out of it and it's not the kind of film everyone is going to love. Look at it too closely and some of the pieces might start to peel apart. But, it is the kind of film that everyone will remember. And, the leading performance is astounding for its rawness and truth.

Cabin in the Woods

I know, I know. Hah, hah, hah. A horror film? Nominated for an Oscar? Okay, well it's happened a couple of times, but not many. However, I do have the power to nominate it for a Lofgy. Why? If you've seen it, you know. If you haven't seen it... well... it's an intelligent deconstruction of the horror genre that actually addresses a lot of the conflicting emotions and thoughts I personally have in regards to horror.  Things happen in this movie that you've definitely never seen before. Cabin in the Woods turns audiences' expectations upside down and inside out, all the while managing to subscribe to and subvert a traditional, three-act structure. Plus, it's funny. So, if you can handle a little gore, you should check it out. It might change the way you think about scary movies.

Django Unchained

The remarkable thing about this film? Hmm... well, there's the thoughtful and effective pacing. There's the cast filled with vibrant characters who wear their roles like well-fitting, yet beautifully embroidered jackets. Oh, and also the dialogue that sparks and crackles, squeezing laughs out of the audience. It's fun and occasionally rises above the simple adventure/exploitation flick it pretends to be - offering the viewer a candy-coated challenge. I think Tarantino has more crayons in his box than the rest of us. There were a couple elements that didn't sit well with me, (won't elaborate for fear of spoilling) but, in fairness, it wouldn't be a Tarantino picture without these things. This one is larger than life, folks.

Lincoln

When Lincoln started, I became concerned that it might turn out to be an ongoing pastiche of triumphant music, triumphant speeches and small children staring up in adoration at the important man. Fortunately, it wasn't. In its strongest moments, Lincoln steps away from the biopic format and immerses itself in the very real, very complex frustrations of pushing, and sometimes even shoving, a country forward. It boasts a large cast of characters with conflicting motives, many of whom are an absolute joy to watch. A few of the more personal aspects of Lincoln's life, family members and such, are given short shrift, however, by the time the music finally does soar, the viewer feels the kind of emotion that comes from more than just cheap pandering.

Looper

It's a shame that this film was probably never even considered for a nomination. It demonstrates so much creativity that it nearly knocked me over, but also balances all the raw imagination with moments of solemnity and scenes where even the most jaded viewer might find new nightmares to follow them into the morning. Though it did annoy me a bit that so many plot points were explained away with "Well, that's how it is in the future", the film was entertaining, unpredictable and added up to a surprisingly emotional experience. More of this, please.

The Master

At the center of this film is the relationship between two extremely different men, one desperate for a saviour and the other trying to be that saviour. The ways in which they connect, strive and delude themselves are fascinating. The movie is most famous for being a thinly veiled expose on Scientology, but that isn't all it has to share. The imagery is lovely, the structure untraditional, the acting powerful, and the writing dares to wander into challenging and complex territory. An excellent film.

Moonrise Kingdom

Possibly the most Wes Andersony of Wes Anderson films, Moonrise Kingdom proves that Wes Andersoniness can be a glorious thing. Filled with thoughtful details, the heart of this story is about all the ways children and adults face the loneliness and small cruelties of life. Music? Literature? Maybe an affair or even an island campground far away. Those of us who are most fortunate can find understanding in another human and the most beautiful moments in this movie are the moments where the characters truly connect, reaching through all the fantasy and the kitsch to approach something real and ultimately human.

Searching for Sugar Man

This documentary is a more recent addition to the list, since I didn't get to see it in the theaters. It also bumped the excellent French film, Rust and Bone, off the list. What is Searching for Sugar Man? It's the story of Rodriguez, a poet and singer living in Detroit. Though extremely talented, when Rodriguez released a couple of albums in the early 70s, he got completely passed over. The albums didn't sell and Rodriguez went back to working in construction, his talent supposedly silenced. Yet, all the while, he was gaining tremendous popularity in South Africa. Though no one there knew anything about him, his songs spoke to those suffering beneath the oppressive South African government and he became, according to many in the country, as big as the Beatles. The film is punctuated by and ultimately successful because of Rodriguez's haunting music, which is woven throughout. I loved this movie. Even if you think no one cares, you should still sing. You never know. Even if you never find out, your song could be the exact thing someone needs.

Zero Dark Thirty

An immersing examination of the manhunt for Osama Bin Laden. This film has been controversial and, given the topics within, that was probably unavoidable. In my opinion, Zero Dark Thirty is balanced in its exploration of how torture was utilized during this time. It presents information and allows the viewer to come to their own conclusions regarding morality vs. effectiveness. What else does it do well? It manages to build tension within a story where the viewer already knows the outcome. It makes the mundane fascinating and the fascinating mundane, but, that of course makes it fascinating again... Best of all? It captures the complexity of emotions surrounding the entire ordeal, the way it makes us face who we have become as a country and question how these events define us. So yeah. In my opinion, it's a very good movie.

There you have it! My top ten of the year. However, I'm horrible at picking favorites, so I don't know which one I actually liked best. What do you think? Who should take the grand prize? Let me know your thoughts on any of these films and feel free to post your own favorites of 2012 below. Yay movies!